Having been a massive fan of Indiana Jones since childhood, I really wanted to see a  fourth made. Many, including Spielberg, were saying “Leave it alone, it works as a trilogy”. However, Harrison Ford believed different and wanted to play the swashbuckling archaeologist one more time. Due to the overwhelming success of the original films on home video and DVD, and plus rabid fans demanding another, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg realised another one of these films was truly what the public wanted. Over the years, many ideas came and went, as did many screenwriters. It was finally Jeff Nathanson and David Koepp who were finally able to break the back of this beast. A script was produced that all agreed on, and the film went into production for release in summer 2008.

This tale begins in 1957 as Indy and his colleague Mac (Ray Winstone) are kidnapped and forced to find a strange corpse in the Area 51 warehouse in Nevada. Mac betrays Indy, who manages to escape. Indy is tracked down by Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) who unbeknownst to him – is his biological son. Mutt implores Indy to help him find and rescue Harold Oxley (John Hurt) and his mother Marion (Karen Allen, returning from Raiders Of The Lost Ark). On managing to rescue the duo, Indy once again runs into Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) an unscrupulous Soviet Commander. Thus begins a mission to return an ancient Aztec “Crystal Skull” to it’s tomb – where all manner of strange secrets will be revealed.

That’s all there is to say about the story really. All it is, is a flimsy string used to tie sequence after sequence of silly overblown stunts together. The film tries to mix the bizarre, over-the-top action of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom with the humour of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade without successfully achieving either. The movie feels like a bizarre spoof of an Indiana Jones movie rather than an actual one. Harrison Ford is obviously a shadow of the man he once was.
It’s hard to believe that this is supposed to be the same cool, calculating soldier of fortune from the vastly superior Raiders Of The Lost Ark. His silly mugging to the camera, and comedy double takes – coupled with his extremely lame dialogue make him rather an irritating character, far removed from the action adventure icon we all loved since childhood.

Ray Winstone is fun as Mac, and provides the film with some genuine comic moments. Shia LaBeouf also puts on a good show as Mutt Williams. However, Karen Allen’s return as Marion Ravenwood feels like an afterthought, John Hurt is totally wasted, and Cate Blanchett’s villian is about as scary and intimidating as a cheese-plant.

So, what we got was a silly adventure which involves Indy surviving a nuclear explosion by climbing into a FRIDGE, Shia LaBeouf swinging with monkeys, Harrison Ford looking completely baked, and Karen Allen being criminally wasted.

Also, the story is out of place for one of these films. This one goes quite strongly into the realm of science fiction – which is completely unnecessary. Since Spielberg is the director of such sci-fi classics as Close Encounters Of The Third Kind and E.T The Extra Terrestrial, and George Lucas is the man behind the Star Wars movies – I don’t see why they felt the need to cross pollinate the genre into their “adventure serial throwback” movie series. It really makes the film feel out of place with the others – and comes across as lazy rather than innovative.

It’s not all bad news. The obligatory paranormal ending is handled well, even if it does rip off  The X-Files: Fight The Future in a way. The production design and cinematography are beautiful, and the 1950s look is rendered very well. Most of the action scenes are done well, and the movie isn’t boring.

But sadly none of this saves this movie from total mediocrity. After almost two decades in development hell, I expected something a bit more special than this.

Still, the film was an absolutely massive blockbuster, and the powers that be are talking about making a fifth one. Personally, I say leave it the hell alone. I was one of those who desperately wanted this fourth one. And it’s taught me that I should be careful what I wish for.

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